Boundary Blurring and ADT

I think products designed to make our lives easier have the opposite effect on sensitives.  Highly sensitive people and introverts who relish alone time notice the constant, massive input and each bit of input feels like a stone added to the bucket of stones they're carrying.  Others believe these tools make them more effective, but I'd have to disagree when I look at my corporate life.  I see many of bureaucratic chickens with their heads cut off clucking loudly. 

Instant messaging, PDAs, software designed to help make us more "productive", high speed internet connections, cell phones...all great tools.  Additionally, these tools blur the boundaries between work and leisure for many of us.  For the sensitve or introvert who needs quiet space in which to work effectively, this boundary blurring is overwhelming and the tools intended to help us become massive roadblocks to our productivity.

I wondered recently if I have attention deficit disorder.  Hey, everyone has it these days, why not me?  (I acknowledge that ADD is a real disorder and am not making fun of it...rather, I'm expressing my belief that many of us are actually suffering something different than ADD and don't know what name to give it).  I've been calling what I'm feeling "burn out", but I know it goes deeper than that.  My brain circuitry is frequently overloaded even when I'm not burnt out.  I often look at my computer with paralyzing terror. I knew I was on to something when I read about a related problem recently identified as attention deficit trait (ADT).  Unlike ADD, which people are born with, people with ADT are overwhelmed by the relentless pounding of information from the very tools of modern life designed to make us more effective.  ADT is externally focused unlike ADD. My guess is that many people who believe they have ADD, actually have ADT.  Edward Hallowell, the psychiatrist who identified the disorder, lists these symptoms: 

• feeling that you're not working to full potential
• knowledge that you could be producing more but in fact you're producing less
• knowledge that they're smarter than their output shows
• answering questions in ways that are more superficial
• more hurried than they usually would be
• reservoir of new ideas starts to run dry
• working ever-longer hours and sleeping less, exercising less, spending free time with friends less and in general putting in more hours but getting less production overall

I worked as a technical writer long before "productivity" tools were widely available and I have noticed that my concentration, speed, and quality of writing were actually better in pre-email, pre-IM days.  There are many tech writers who would say the opposite.  Technical writing means writing about technology and as one tech writer friend says, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!"  Maybe I need to get out of the tech writing "kitchen".  However, I have to believe there are many other people in all professions out there who relate to what I'm saying.  Does that mean we should all quit our jobs?  No, it means we have to find ways to cope so that we don't drown in information. 

For me, it boils down to increasingly blurry boundaries productivity tools create.   

There are very few boundaries between my tech writing life and my entrepreneurial life.  Additionally, I feel my personal boundaries get stomped on a lot.  Why?  Because I allow it; not because I'm stupid, but because I can't physically process it all. It really hit home this week when I felt a co-worker overstepped a professional boundary and I became furious and did very little to address the broken boundary.  And then I realized...if I feel others are stomping on my boundaries, where am I not being clear about boundaries I create for myself?  Where am not being clear about what I am able and willing to do in a designated time?  Where am I not saying "NO!" to all the "very important" interruptions and meetings during my work day when I'm trying to be a good technical writer?  Where am I not being clear in my personal life when I answer the cell phone even though I know I don't have time for the person on the other end?  Where am I multitasking way beyond what my brain is wired?   Why do I believe I have to respond to every email that lands in my inbox? 

For some, those who feel energized by input coming in from a thousand directions, this is simple. "Just set the damn boundaries," my extroverted pals say.  It's not so easy for a sensitive or an introvert.  It's kind of like telling someone who doesn't know the alphabet to just get on with it and read. 

How does the ADT-afflicted sensitive or introvert cope in an extroverted action-oriented world?  Here's what I'm doing (I am not doing any of this pefectly lately):

• instant messaging is off during designated hours of the day
• email is off during designated hours of the day
• I never give out my personal cell phone number to my 9-5 job colleagues
• I always ask people if they have time to for me right now when I need to interrupt their workday.  I want to model what I expect them to do for me by giving them the option to say, "I can't speak to you right now.  How about at 3?"
• I do not explain where I'm going or what I'm doing when I take time off from work.  I call time off "vacation" or "personal appointment".  It's no one's business if I have a doctor's appointment or I'm getting a haircut or where I'm spending my days off.  It's MY time. 
• I do not eat while I'm working - I leave the office to eat lunch
• I answer all emails during a designated time rather than as they come in (unless it's an emergency)

As I said, I am not doing any of this perfectly right now because I continue to feel overwhelmed and I continue to feel my boundaries are not clear or respected.  Clearly, none of this is easily fixed and will be an ongoing challenge for a quiet soul living in a noisy world.  Clearly, we must all adapt to some extent to fit into society and do our jobs. 

I've been writing about the slow food movement recently.  As I've written before, the slow movement is about more than food.  (But, food is a favorite topic and a great way to model the lifestyle.)  Slow does not mean anti-technology.  It means doing one thing at a time.  It means savoring each bite of whatever...food, a work project, a leisure activity, carefully, and mindfully.  It means tuning into the messages our bodies and souls deliver and acting upon them thoughtfully and with respect.  It means balancing the blessings of the modern world with our spirits.   Everyone's talking about balance these days.  How many people do you know who achieve what feels like balance for themselves?  I'd wager to say very few.  Did anyone even worry about balance 100 years ago?  I doubt it. 

I'm having a little problem with the word slow to describe this movement I admire so much.  I am not slow.  Au contraire, I am creative, smart, and quick on my feet.  I love my Palm Pilot and my cell phone.  However, I can't be creative, smart, and quick while I'm answering the cell phone, IM, and email every 3 minutes.  I am not wired for that.

And I'm bloody tired of trying to fake it. 

   

 

Comments

[Dina at Wordfeeder.com]

Ann,

AMEN TO THAT!! You know what, I have an article simmering (actually it's been simmering for over 2 years now - there's a rough draft living on my other computer.) The title came to me in a fit similar to the one you had here. I call it "Life Surfing 101" and the theme is that I feel like every aspect of my physical life has become web-surfer-like, focusless proverbial link-clicking and I HATE IT.

When did my technological MO start seeing into my reality and how do I get the focus back??

More importantly, I can't stand to see you blaming yourself for other people's inconsideration of your time. Yes, we are all responsible for our own behavior, ultimately. But dammit if I'm not filled with resentment for people who eat up my time with meaningless requests, mind games and BS. I try to be as responsible for myself as I possibly can, but sorry, it's a two-way street and while you and I are busy trying our darndest not to cross others' boundaries, maybe others should start considering the same of themselves.

I'd better get out of here before I blow a gasket! Thanks for the fuel. Your blog outpourings have me salivating. More, more! Give it to us Annie!! We need you to tell it like it is.

;)

Dina