I hear myself ranting and raving a lot about the evils or corporate America. Yet, I enjoy a decent living and for the most part, I enjoy my technical writing work at IBM (mostly on the days when I don't feel like a glorified secretary). I love Vermont Shortbread Company too. I love that the amount of work I do is proportionate to my income from the business. I am frustrated that I cannot devote more time to the business. I love that I don't have to justify my decisions to anyone. However, isolation and money fears sometimes paralyze me.
So, I decided - why not create a new category in which to write about the pros and cons of working for someone else versus working for oneself? Clearly, the right answer is different for everyone. However, I must believe that the feelings I am experiencing have been felt before and that every person who makes the leap from corporate to self employment or vice versa must experience the flip flop pros and cons of each. I have to believe that if you're reading my blog, you are at least vaguely interested in this topic.
At the end of the day, writing, teaching, and creating new products are what really pump my energy. How I incorporate those things into my two distinctly different worlds of work is what I am now struggling with. In any career there are good days and bad days. There are tasks we don't care for and tasks we look forward to in any job. I know this and I accept it. I don't want to be "happy" all the time. I simply want to be present and content in each moment in work. And right now, I'm not.
Now on to my corporate versus self employment thought for the day: In the corporate world, what I think and do are not important.
Oh yes, a good manager cares and listens to your thoughts and acknowledges what you do and for that I'm grateful. However, at the end of the day, my strongly held opinions do not matter one iota. And if I don't express them in the correct political context with full understanding of the hierarchy, who likes whom, who yields the power, who really cares, then my opinions aren't even heard! I just don't have the energy to figure out the politics and procedures anymore. I don't function well in the world of endless reports, meetings, and teacher's pets. I can't fake it. Remember the scene in the movie Big, when Tom Hanks is a boy in a man's body at a marketing meeting in which the bureaucrats are discussing marketing trends using jargonesque corporate-speak to make themselves feel more intelligent than they really are? Tom Hanks raises his hand in the middle of it and simply says, "I don't get it."
I am the Tom Hanks character in Big when I am at my corporate job.
I prefer to "do" rather than plan, analyze, and report constantly. Of course, all have merits. If you're always doing without much planning and analysis, you're probably wasting a lot of energy. For me, the "talking rather than doing" requirements in my corporate world have become painful and ridiculous. I want to know what I'm expected to do and then go do it quietly and without a lot of drama.
In my self employed world, I don't navigate any political waters. I come up with an idea. I do it. It flops or it succeeds and I don't care what anyone thinks of it or if it's the "right" move that will please management. I make a quick analysis and go back to the drawing board. I don't have to write a report unless I want to. No fanfare, no checking in with others. It's all MY responsibility. On the flip side, there's no one with whom to discuss big decisions. And I am far harsher on myself than any corporate boss ever would be.
Stay tuned for the further adventures of The Stuck Girl with Two Feet Planted in Two Entirely Different Worlds.
As always, insight, comments, and jokes are welcomed.
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