Deviant Food Behaviors We Don't Admit To

Yesterday, I caught myself digging a teaspoon into a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.  Not so bad, eh?  Well, frankly, I don't really like this flavor.  Still not so bad, right?

It only becomes "bad" when I become a miner.  Yep, I concentrate fully and wriggle my spoon into the icy depths for one reason only:  TO EXTRACT THE GLOBS OF COOKIE DOUGH and shove them into my anxious mouth!  Then I put the injured pint back in the fridge hoping no one will notice.  Jackson watches with big brown wise canine eyes, but he can't talk, so I'm safe. 

Here are some food behaviors I pretend I don't do and don't necessarily do now, but may have done in the past (yeah, right): 

• Over the course of a few days, deplete the contents of a can of that horrendous chemical-filled canned frosting with a teaspoon.  I would never put it on a cake, but it's okay on a spoon.  What's up with THAT? 
• Stick my fingers into my mother's box of Russell Stover soft-centered chocolates (the bottom side of the chocolate) to see what was inside.  If it was pink, put the chocolate back in the box and do not eat it.  Who the heck likes the chocolates with the pink fillings anyway?  I'm doing a public service. 
• Fish all the cashews out of a jar of mixed nuts.  (Okay, I think this one is common so I don't feel so deviant.) 
• Peel the cheese off a pizza, roll it up in a ball and masticate the chewy glob for 10 minutes.  Throw the naked crust away.  Heh-heh...I said masticate and naked in the same bullet point. 

So what weird things do YOU do with food? 

You get extra points if you have a really good deviant shortbread story to tell (i.e., you made s'mores out of your shortbread). 

Comments

[Michael at Eddiesenergy.com]

I purposely spend my days in the kitchen eating whole shortbreads, and fish all the M&M's out of the Costco trail mix.

I too am guilty of the cookie dough one too!

Fun post, Ann.

[Chris]

Oh Ann - Last night, I went deep sea diving in my bag o' Nutty Steph and fished out all of the yummy nuts and plopped them into a container of Echo Farm Chocolate pudding:) Let's just say breakfast this morning was interesting...
When my sister was little, she would eat all the cake part off of a Twinkie (yes I said Twinkie) leaving a big blob of white goo for her to then lick like an ice cream cone. Ew.
Ah deviance:)

[Brenda]

I got smart a few years back and instead of having to pick the good stuff out of Gorp I just make it the "Happy" way...M&Ms, malted milk balls and cashews.
Is adding pomegranate juice to a margarita considered deviant??

[Dina at Wordfeeder.com]

I somehow got into the really bad habit of eating too fast, and in a sloppy manner.

It's something that I notice when I'm out, eating a meal with friends or having dinner someplace nice. At those times, I make a conscious effort not to slop, and then it feels very "different" from how I normally eat. Sometimes I find myself really struggling with a bowl of soup or trying valiantly to keep pasta on my fork while out in public.

Today, for example, I grabbed a kitchen towel to wipe my mouth on while eating a grilled cheese. An entire kitchen towel? Definitely disgusting.

[Christy]

I'd argue putting the nasty pink-centered chocolate back into the box negates the public service. ;)

[Holly Buttura, a.k.a The Candle Guru]

DEFINITELY have fished through the B&J pints for the candy pieces! And similar behavior with Russell Stover's: I'd use a fork to pry back a piece on the bottom to see what was inside. If I didn't like what I saw I put the piece back. You know, just a little 'recon' work!

I also liked to peel the outside chocolate off the 3 Musketeers Bar and just eat the fluffy chocolate center. Oh wait, I still do that! :D