Vermont Shortbread Company

Boundary Blurring and ADT

I think products designed to make our lives easier have the opposite effect on sensitives.  Highly sensitive people and introverts who relish alone time notice the constant, massive input and each bit of input feels like a stone added to the bucket of stones they're carrying.  Others believe these tools make them more effective, but I'd have to disagree when I look at my corporate life.  I see many of bureaucratic chickens with their heads cut off clucking loudly. 

Instant messaging, PDAs, software designed to help make us more "productive", high speed internet connections, cell phones...all great tools.  Additionally, these tools blur the boundaries between work and leisure for many of us.  For the sensitve or introvert who needs quiet space in which to work effectively, this boundary blurring is overwhelming and the tools intended to help us become massive roadblocks to our productivity.

I wondered recently if I have attention deficit disorder.  Hey, everyone has it these days, why not me?  (I acknowledge that ADD is a real disorder and am not making fun of it...rather, I'm expressing my belief that many of us are actually suffering something different than ADD and don't know what name to give it).  I've been calling what I'm feeling "burn out", but I know it goes deeper than that.  My brain circuitry is frequently overloaded even when I'm not burnt out.  I often look at my computer with paralyzing terror. I knew I was on to something when I read about a related problem recently identified as attention deficit trait (ADT).  Unlike ADD, which people are born with, people with ADT are overwhelmed by the relentless pounding of information from the very tools of modern life designed to make us more effective.  ADT is externally focused unlike ADD. My guess is that many people who believe they have ADD, actually have ADT.  Edward Hallowell, the psychiatrist who identified the disorder, lists these symptoms: 

• feeling that you're not working to full potential
• knowledge that you could be producing more but in fact you're producing less
• knowledge that they're smarter than their output shows
• answering questions in ways that are more superficial
• more hurried than they usually would be
• reservoir of new ideas starts to run dry
• working ever-longer hours and sleeping less, exercising less, spending free time with friends less and in general putting in more hours but getting less production overall

I worked as a technical writer long before "productivity" tools were widely available and I have noticed that my concentration, speed, and quality of writing were actually better in pre-email, pre-IM days.  There are many tech writers who would say the opposite.  Technical writing means writing about technology and as one tech writer friend says, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!"  Maybe I need to get out of the tech writing "kitchen".  However, I have to believe there are many other people in all professions out there who relate to what I'm saying.  Does that mean we should all quit our jobs?  No, it means we have to find ways to cope so that we don't drown in information. 

For me, it boils down to increasingly blurry boundaries productivity tools create.   

There are very few boundaries between my tech writing life and my entrepreneurial life.  Additionally, I feel my personal boundaries get stomped on a lot.  Why?  Because I allow it; not because I'm stupid, but because I can't physically process it all. It really hit home this week when I felt a co-worker overstepped a professional boundary and I became furious and did very little to address the broken boundary.  And then I realized...if I feel others are stomping on my boundaries, where am I not being clear about boundaries I create for myself?  Where am not being clear about what I am able and willing to do in a designated time?  Where am I not saying "NO!" to all the "very important" interruptions and meetings during my work day when I'm trying to be a good technical writer?  Where am I not being clear in my personal life when I answer the cell phone even though I know I don't have time for the person on the other end?  Where am I multitasking way beyond what my brain is wired?   Why do I believe I have to respond to every email that lands in my inbox? 

For some, those who feel energized by input coming in from a thousand directions, this is simple. "Just set the damn boundaries," my extroverted pals say.  It's not so easy for a sensitive or an introvert.  It's kind of like telling someone who doesn't know the alphabet to just get on with it and read. 

How does the ADT-afflicted sensitive or introvert cope in an extroverted action-oriented world?  Here's what I'm doing (I am not doing any of this pefectly lately):

• instant messaging is off during designated hours of the day
• email is off during designated hours of the day
• I never give out my personal cell phone number to my 9-5 job colleagues
• I always ask people if they have time to for me right now when I need to interrupt their workday.  I want to model what I expect them to do for me by giving them the option to say, "I can't speak to you right now.  How about at 3?"
• I do not explain where I'm going or what I'm doing when I take time off from work.  I call time off "vacation" or "personal appointment".  It's no one's business if I have a doctor's appointment or I'm getting a haircut or where I'm spending my days off.  It's MY time. 
• I do not eat while I'm working - I leave the office to eat lunch
• I answer all emails during a designated time rather than as they come in (unless it's an emergency)

As I said, I am not doing any of this perfectly right now because I continue to feel overwhelmed and I continue to feel my boundaries are not clear or respected.  Clearly, none of this is easily fixed and will be an ongoing challenge for a quiet soul living in a noisy world.  Clearly, we must all adapt to some extent to fit into society and do our jobs. 

I've been writing about the slow food movement recently.  As I've written before, the slow movement is about more than food.  (But, food is a favorite topic and a great way to model the lifestyle.)  Slow does not mean anti-technology.  It means doing one thing at a time.  It means savoring each bite of whatever...food, a work project, a leisure activity, carefully, and mindfully.  It means tuning into the messages our bodies and souls deliver and acting upon them thoughtfully and with respect.  It means balancing the blessings of the modern world with our spirits.   Everyone's talking about balance these days.  How many people do you know who achieve what feels like balance for themselves?  I'd wager to say very few.  Did anyone even worry about balance 100 years ago?  I doubt it. 

I'm having a little problem with the word slow to describe this movement I admire so much.  I am not slow.  Au contraire, I am creative, smart, and quick on my feet.  I love my Palm Pilot and my cell phone.  However, I can't be creative, smart, and quick while I'm answering the cell phone, IM, and email every 3 minutes.  I am not wired for that.

And I'm bloody tired of trying to fake it. 

   

 

My Commercial Bakery

Here's one of the things that inspires me and keeps me going when I have a challenging day at the 9-5 job.  It's also why I've been so hard to reach lately...we've been working hard to get this bakery together.  Only one more thing we need - a commercial mixer.  My 6 quart Kitchen Aid just isn't going to cut it for the massive volume of baking I'm getting prepared to handle.  Anyone got any contacts selling a big commercial mixer that can handle about 40 pounds of butter and a ton (okay, not really a ton) of flour? 

Passion and the Fledgling Entrepreneur's Double Life

I once read a bit of advice for entrepreneurs like me who had to balance a traditional job with their small business.  It went something like this. 

Approach your 9-5 job with passion like it's the most exciting thing in the world.  Fake it if you have to.  (This doesn't mean be inauthentic, but there's great power in just constantly being the energy you want to create for your dream.)  I think the idea is that if we display effusive gratitude and enthusiasm, it can't help but spill over into every aspect of our lives.  It's an essential mindset for successful and prosperous people. 

I don't always practice this perfectly.  I get caught up in my fatigue, frustration, and focusing on what I don't want.  The fatigue is real...I'm not going to deny it and it disturbs me to think of what I am doing to my body when I don't sleep.  The idea is not to ignore it altogether, but not to focus on it either.  The more I practice this, the better I become.  When I start my IBM days with something, anything that amps my energy (which usually for me means, some sort of creative writing, knitting, or playing my piano), everything and everyone else in my life benefits.

No doubt about it, the double work life is a challenge.  I'm always looking for techniques and stories other people in similar situations use.  Could be good fodder for that book that seems to be writing itself.

I haven't done so well at any of this in the past few weeks; in fact the past month is a mulligan (a do-over),  but I get to start over today.  Now, THAT really gets me going far better than any amount of caffeine. 

Good morning. 

Inspirations for Successful Entrepreneurship

To balance the winging and moaning I've been doing about corporate employment, I thought, to shift my energy today, it might be worth listing people who serve as my role models for full time self employment. 

These successful people share values and work ethics I hold dear.  So chances are, if you're reading my blog and find this topic interesting, these folks might be good connections for you, too. 

Wow! I can't believe how easy this exercise was.  I have managed to attract some amazing, creative people into my circle. 

Note: this list may not be complete.  I will add to it as names occur to me.

Ann's Favorite Entrepreneurs

• Dina Giolitto, Wordfeeder.com
• Lori Davis, Davis Virtual Assistants
• Lauren Lee, Care and Feeding of Empaths and HSPs
• Brad Swift, Life on Purpose
• Lisa Buell, Create Joy Coach
• Jason Pugliese, Mindful Bookkeeping
• Bill Alexander, Alpine Web Media
• Biana Babinsky, Avocado Consulting
• Billy Keyworth, Keyworth Graphics
• Neal Albert, Shelburne Fine Woodworking
• Ja-Nae Duane, Wild Women Entrepreneurs (I'm on the executive board!)
• Jana Jopson, Crafting Content with Spirit
• Brenda Kerr, Katahdin Spirit Structural Health
• Robin Yurcek, The Courageous Way
• Markey Read, Career Networks
• Amy Todisco, Green Living Now
• Cathryn Hrudicka, Creative Sage
• Lynn Colwell, Bloom and Grow Coaching for Life
• Sue Koch, Access the Edge
• Maria Salomao-Schmidt, Brick House Realty
• George Brewer, Addison County Real Estate
• Ellen Schultz, Global Travel International

Monday: Oh Yes, Now I Remember Why I'm an Entrepreneur

Do this, don't do that.  Change the rules next week.  Hurry up, slow down. Crisis.  Martyrdom. 

Blah, blah, blah. 

It's Monday.  Back to corporate. 

Corporate Water Cooler Chit Chat

I'm an introvert at heart.  I am distinct INFJ in the Myers-Briggs world.  Always have been, always will be. I fake extroversion well and even enjoy it in small doses. 

One thing I love about corporate life is water cooler chit chat.  I want to hear what my cube mate did on his vacation.  I want to share food, stories, trials, and tribulations.  I want to sip bad coffee in the cafeteria while bragging about my daughter's report card.  I want to eat cheap chocolate out of co-workers' candy dishes and hear about how their kids are growing.  I truly LIKE most of the people I work with. I get along with most everyone and I attract high quality friendships in the workplace.   

I would miss this social aspect of the coporate world if I was on my own 100% of the time, but expect I'd probably find some other way to experience solopreneur water cooler chit chat.

How do the self employed who crave social interaction as part of the workday create their own versions of  the "water cooler"? 

The Stuck Girl with Two Feet Planted in Two Entirely Different Worlds

I hear myself ranting and raving a lot about the evils or corporate America.  Yet, I enjoy a decent living and for the most part, I enjoy my technical writing work at IBM (mostly on the days when I don't feel like a glorified secretary).  I love Vermont Shortbread Company too.  I love that the amount of work I do is proportionate to my income from the business.  I am frustrated that I cannot devote more time to the business. I love that I don't have to justify my decisions to anyone.  However, isolation and money fears sometimes paralyze me. 

So, I decided - why not create a new category in which to write about the pros and cons of working for someone else versus working for oneself?  Clearly, the right answer is different for everyone.  However, I must believe that the feelings I am experiencing have been felt before and that every person who makes the leap from corporate to self employment or vice versa must experience the flip flop pros and cons of each.  I have to believe that if you're reading my blog, you are at least vaguely interested in this topic. 

At the end of the day, writing, teaching, and creating new products are what really pump my energy.  How I incorporate those things into my two distinctly different worlds of work is what I am now struggling with.  In any career there are good days and bad days.  There are tasks we don't care for and tasks we look forward to in any job.  I know this and I accept it.  I don't want to be "happy" all the time.  I simply want to be present and content in each moment in work.  And right now, I'm not. 

Now on to my corporate versus self employment thought for the day: In the corporate world, what I think and do are not important. 

Oh yes, a good manager cares and listens to your thoughts and acknowledges what you do and for that I'm grateful.  However, at the end of the day, my strongly held opinions do not matter one iota.   And if I don't express them in the correct political context with full understanding of the hierarchy, who likes whom, who yields the power, who really cares, then my opinions aren't even heard!  I just don't have the energy to figure out the politics and procedures anymore.  I don't function well in the world of endless reports, meetings, and teacher's pets.  I can't fake it.  Remember the scene in the movie Big, when Tom Hanks is a boy in a man's body at a marketing meeting in which the bureaucrats are discussing marketing trends using jargonesque corporate-speak to make themselves feel more intelligent than they really are?  Tom Hanks raises his hand in the middle of it and simply says, "I don't get it." 

I am the Tom Hanks character in Big when I am at my corporate job. 

I prefer to "do" rather than plan, analyze, and report constantly.  Of course, all have merits.  If you're always doing without much planning and analysis, you're probably wasting a lot of energy.  For me, the "talking rather than doing" requirements in my corporate world have become painful and ridiculous.  I  want to know what I'm expected to do and then go do it quietly and without a lot of drama. 

In my self employed world, I don't navigate any political waters.  I come up with an idea.  I do it.  It flops or it succeeds and I don't care what anyone thinks of it or if it's the "right" move that will please management.  I make a quick analysis and go back to the drawing board.  I don't have to write a report unless I want to. No fanfare, no checking in with others.  It's all MY responsibility.  On the flip side, there's no one with whom to discuss big decisions.  And I am far harsher on myself than any corporate boss ever would be. 

Stay tuned for the further adventures of The Stuck Girl with Two Feet Planted in Two Entirely Different Worlds. 

As always, insight, comments, and jokes are welcomed.