The cool thing about an attitude of gratitude is that once you get into the habit of noticing and acknowledging all you’ve got, new evidence about how rich you are presents itself magically everywhere you look. Seemingly ordinary events and people in your life become extraordinary when you make a commitment to notice them. Gratitude becomes a beautiful habit.
The spirit of gratitude is all around us at this time of year with Thanksgiving and the December holidays almost upon us. We’re encouraged to cultivate warm fuzzy feelings toward the people we love at this time of year. What about the rest of the year? What about all your teachers, mentors, cheerleaders, leaders in your past who have rooted for you, supported you, or helped you on your journey through your life? What about those who have contributed to the amazing entrepreneur you are today?
Recently I watched my 11-year old daughter solve a tough problem maturely, creatively, and without drama and complaints. I was so proud of her! The event induced a profound sense of appreciation, love, and gratitude for a great gift that’s been under my own nose for nearly a dozen years; my child’s “other mother” who is partly responsible for the lovely young lady of whom I'm so proud.
Many women can relate to the bittersweet mix of emotions that comes with leaving a young child with a day care provider for the first time. I remember 12 years ago searching a limited pool of providers for just the right person who would care for my child when I returned to work. I didn’t want to go back to work and leave my first and only child with a stranger, but I had to work outside the home.
I thought my needs were simple. I wanted a loving home environment for my child, a woman who had similar parenting and educational values to mine, someone who would stock her personal freezer with gallons of my pumped breast milk so my child would never have to drink formula, someone who would rub my child's back when she couldn't fall asleep at nap time, someone who recognized the importance of reading to children, someone smart, funny, and loving who would guide and structure my child’s day as closely as possible to the way I do it. I wanted it all; I wanted someone just like me. In a small community where there’s a ridiculous shortage of infant care providers, I soon realized what a tall and daunting order this is.
I was nearly at the end of my rope when I met Ellen Drolette, a day care provider in Burlington, Vermont, who had given birth to her second child within a few months my daughter's birth in 1994. Ellen gave up her job to be at home with her kids. An entrepreneur long before before she even knew what the word meant, Ellen was not thrilled with child care options for her own children, so she quit her job and started her home-based day care. She quickly earned the credentials to become licensed by the state of Vermont and took many hours of coursework to become the leader in the local child care community she is today. My daughter was one of her first little clients. I knew immediately upon meeting Ellen that she was “the one” for us. I trusted my gut and placed my precious infant and my faith in Ellen's care.
Almost twelve years later, my daughter is now too old for day care. My daughter is an honorary member of Ellen’s family. Ellen’s kids are my child’s “adopted” brother and sister. Ellen’s parents are my child’s “adopted” grandparents. My child has an educational, social, and academic foundation to which Ellen was a main contributor. And to think…according to a national study, the average child care provider (center and home-based day care facilities) in this country made slightly less than $8 per hour in 2004 for a 40-50 hour work week for the important job of nurturing our little ones while we work.
In my house, we refer to Ellen as my daughter’s “other mother” because of her deep bond with my daughter. I believe that my daughter’s vivid imagination, good grades, good manners, ability to deal with conflict, solve problems, love of dramatic play, the arts, and positive attitude, are in part, due to Ellen’s constant and consistent attention and creativity.
It would take many pages for me to write about all the ways in which Ellen has contributed to my daughter’s growth. There is not one part of my child’s life that has not been touched by Ellen. As I watch my daughter approach the turbulent teens I still hear or watch her solve a problem or utter a phrase that I know has been inspired by Ellen somewhere through the years. This makes me smile in deep gratitude, pride, and appreciation that I will spend a lifetime acknowledging.
Here’s your Thanksgiving homework assignment, my dear friends:
Can you think of a person in your past who has profoundly and positively influenced your life or the life of a child you love?
Thank her now. Thank her frequently. Remember her on the days when it’s raining, cold, you're running late, you’re grumpy and can't find much to be grateful for and then thank her again.
You’ve been given a huge, incredible, beautiful, lifelong gift.
